


Heart's Tears

by Joyous32



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Blood, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 04:18:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7153199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joyous32/pseuds/Joyous32
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ianto returns after a week away from Torchwood due to Lisa's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heart's Tears

Lisa had been dead for a week. According to Tosh and assumedly Jack, she had been gone for much longer than that. Ianto didn’t make the connection. Upon waking up, he had washed his hands, trying to scrub away the flecks of blood beneath his nails. He dressed in his usual suit and tie, knowing that Jack would expect nothing less while his coworkers may find it above his current mental state. Quietly, he ate his breakfast alone with no hopes of the solitude ever changing. He stared at himself in the mirror, working to retain his professional butler’s mask as he scrubbed the remaining blood from his hands.

Then he headed off to work, prepared for the worst. Tosh had been the only person to visit Ianto while he was on leave, so Ianto assumed that Jack had either bottled up his anger to take out on him later, or was refraining from mentioning it again. A small part of Ianto hoped it would be the former. Perhaps, Jack was holding off on the retcon until he thought Ianto’s suffering was sufficient. Ianto hated him.

Ianto took a deep breath and then opened the door to the Hub. The breath was knocked back out of him when he looked around. The place hadn’t been touched since that horrible day.

Ianto got down on his hands and knees and began scrubbing at the blood that still pooled putridly. The bodies were absent, but the blood was everywhere. Ianto wondered if this was his punishment. He had to clean the mess he caused. The team hadn’t touched anything. Had they worked here? Surely not—the smell alone—

“Ianto.” Jack’s voice sounded from behind him and Ianto flinched away.

“I’m trying…it’s not working.” Ianto lifted his hands from the mess to see them covered in blood as well. He could've sworn he had a rag-

Ianto inhaled sharply, but no air would come. He tried again, feeling as though his lungs were being squeezed. He glanced around and saw Jack, who seemed to blur against the vibrant blood surrounding them, but Ianto saw the blood coating him too. What was happening? Some sort of Cyber-infection that stopped blood from cleaning?

“Ianto, Ianto.” Jack knelt down beside him and grabbed his wrists when Ianto went to bat him away with bloody hands. “There’s nothing there. Shh, there’s nothing there.” Jack cradled Ianto against his chest, rocking him slightly as Ianto whimpered and gasped for air.

“What’s wrong with it? What’s—what’s wrong?” Ianto begged and Jack turned to look at the man with worried eyes—surely masking the anger that would soon explode.

“Look harder.” Jack pushed Ianto’s head down to see the floor around them, but Ianto closed his eyes.

“No, no.” Ianto tried to squirm away, but Jack held fast.

“Open your eyes, Ianto, that’s an order.” Jack demanded and Ianto opened them carefully, trying only to look up at Jack’s face. Jack gestured to the ground once more and Ianto realised that there was nothing there.

“Jack, there was blood.” Ianto whimpered, clutching at Jack's greatcoat in search for something solid and clearly real, and Jack just held him.

“I’m sorry, Ianto.” Jack’s voice sounded watery, but Ianto began to realise that he must still be imagining things. He glanced at his hands that were seemingly clear of blood. Still, Ianto’s mind had tricked him once. He searched tirelessly for the blood that must be there and Jack groaned. “Come on.” Jack pulled Ianto onto his feet and led him to Tosh’s computer.

There, he pulled up the deleted CCTV files and opened the video from the night after Lisa was murdered. The Cyberwoman was murdered, Ianto corrected himself. “See? Look.” Jack pointed to the camera and Ianto winced away when he saw the blood again. “Ianto.” Jack growled and Ianto opened his eyes, feeling tears well up. Still, he watched as the team cleaned up the horrors. Slowly, all that remained was the team, disposing of their soiled clothes. “Now, look over there.” Jack redirected Ianto to the real Hub in which they sat. It was clean other than the few pizza boxes and half-empty cups.

“Do you remember showering after?” Jack asked and Ianto nodded, looking back down to his hands. “The blood isn’t there, Ianto. It’s gone. The blood disappeared when you showered and now, these are just your hands, okay? They're clean, just scrubbed raw.” Jack explained and Ianto nodded again, realizing that this made the most sense.

“Now, I do remember telling you to clear out for a month.” Jack remarked once Ianto had stopped shaking and Ianto sighed, still leaning against Jack.

“Please, Jack. I need to get back to work.” Ianto whispered in response and Jack didn’t respond. Ianto dared to glance up and see the man staring forward impassively. “If you’ll have me.” Jack eventually nodded.

“You’re going to start field training.” Jack announced and Ianto blinked in surprise. Jack had scooted off the chair, pushing Ianto to his feet.

“I—what?” Jack shoved a gun in Ianto’s hands.

“You know how to wield a gun.”

“Yes, but—” Jack looked around.

“You’re good with people, so that shouldn’t be a problem.”

"What about-"

"I expect you to start speaking up, too, Jones. If you have a problem with something, I want to know."

"A mutual expectation, sir." Ianto managed to spit out.

"The team has been informed that they'll be cleaning up after themselves." Ianto glanced around to see that this order hadn't been taken very seriously.

“Jack—” Ianto began again, but paused when he realised that Jack was waiting.

“Ianto?” Jack asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

“Why?” Ianto whispered.

“Why what, Ianto? Speak up.” Jack rolled his eyes as he looked over a paper on Tosh’s desk.

“Why are—I’ve betrayed you, sir. Why are you giving me more responsibility?” Ianto asked.

“You were right. You’ve not bonded with the team. This may help. It’ll also distract you from recent events. As well as lessen the blow of…more painful situations such as those.” Jack waved his hand to where he had found Ianto that morning on the floor and Ianto blushed.

“No amount of field work would have lessened the blow of watching Lisa die. I love her, Jack.” Ianto explained and Jack stepped forward, causing Ianto’s voice to waver. Jack leaned down and tilted Ianto’s chin up ever so slightly.

“It will show you that you aren’t alone in your pain.” Jack informed him and Ianto stared back, looking at Jack’s lips before closing his eyes. When Jack’s lips brushed his, the alarm for the cog door sounded and Ianto pulled away, not looking at Jack as he went to find a rubbish bin so that he could clean up after the team's week without him.  


End file.
